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A convert in the making


My mamma says I need to learn to be happy, learn to not just be sad sometimes but be happy whenever you get a chance no matter how small my achievement is. My friend tells me to have a more positive outlook in life. And I know they are right and I will try.
In the past few months I realized I am becoming stoic, jaded will the downfalls in life I have forgotten how to just be, be at ease with myself accept the things around me as they are and move on. And now I realize life is passing me by and I am not having fun, I don’t really feel very excited when a new beginning awaits me, I was not very sad when I was stuck with a long streak of failures and bad luck. I was just pissed with myself, hammered myself for every failure but never appreciated myself when I did something well. I am just frustrating myself and then putting myself in the vicious circle of more failures and more hammering.
I complain that I don’t get things easy in life but maybe I make it like that by staying in the negative mode. Maybe I have such a strong belief that I will not get things easy and so I don’t. I have no one to blame but myself, so this time I won’t strain myself and give myself the scope for hoping for better things in life because I know I deserve them.
Now that I have an opportunity to break from the clutches of self inflicted misery, I should pounce on the opportunity, but since I am writing about it clearly I haven’t done that yet. But as my very wise mom tells me at least the realization is a beginning of a change, so I must act on it. I must get out of this negative spiral and give myself a chance to prosper. And now I hope I get all the help to stick to my plan of being positive and happy in life and make a life changing change.


Cheers to change…

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