Life in passing

I want to be lazy, so lazy that laziness will shy away from. Why do I need to get up early every day, drag myself to work and do things I half believe in. I want to be lazy, crazy lazy just for a few days, be a total and a hopeless bum. But to afford to do that I need to be rich so please GOD please send a 20 million dollars (that enough for needs of a luxurious life I think :D) post tax in my account so I can be lazy peacefully. But the irony is, if I get that much money then I won't want to be lazy simply 'coz I can afford to be lazy. So Lord my God, you don't want me to be lazy so please give me 20 million dollars  post tax ;)

When a loved one has to go away for good, you feel like a child lost and lonely in the world. Aims and goals get erased from your mind. The brain is spiraling between working out how and when you get to be with the one you love, can the good times together be relived. Everything is lackluster, everything feels empty and nothing is good enough because all you want is the old times to come back again. I guess I don’t deal with changes too well but then losing the people you love and who love you back equally is tough. But what’s striking and alarming for me is the complete lack of will to achieve anything. It’s like all the goals and ambitions got wiped out. I get this sinking feeling and the pain of loss and the combination becomes a little more overwhelming than I can manage. I am living through this state and I feel like I have lost everything that is precious to me. The world is gloomy outside and inside right now.