Life in passing

If someone like a scary fairy comes in your dreams and threatens you to get back to blogging, you are left with no option but get working on it. I tried to reason with her but she won't listen and in fact as my reasons (read excuses) made her more and more furious she turned scarier. So I am back again, having taken a long break you would imagine I would have a lot to write well I kinda do but don't know how to start. So life has changed a lot, I am well settled in a new city and enjoying my life by being awfully busy with work and in company of some great friends. I am staying with one of the closest friends of mine, I have a great time when I am not working. Life's great so far but now I want to get started with doing other things in life, there is so much I want to do in life which I am not doing yet. Well had to get settled in the new job which I am, so it’s time to get some more interesting stuff going in life. Learning to play drums tops on my list of things...

Continuing from where I left, since I agreed that may be my habit of dwelling on the negative is getting more of its kind into my life, so to set things rolling in the right direction I make a promise to myself to be more optimistic and positive in life. I hope and believe that life has a lot of good things in stored for me and it has a splendid plan for me filled with grandeur and delightful times ahead. I have to keep my faith in the power of positive thought. As a wise friend of mine puts it you got to believe it to see it and I know he picked up it from ‘The Secret’ but no matter where he infringed it from he might be right and I may as well give it a shot, after all there I have nothing to lose and lots to gain if it works. So a better life awaits me as I embrace optimism and positivity. And the day is no far away when even I would be saying that I am lucky and life has been easy for me and nothings have just fallen in my lap whenever I needed something. Let the new chapter enfol...

My mamma says I need to learn to be happy, learn to not just be sad sometimes but be happy whenever you get a chance no matter how small my achievement is. My friend tells me to have a more positive outlook in life. And I know they are right and I will try. In the past few months I realized I am becoming stoic, jaded will the downfalls in life I have forgotten how to just be, be at ease with myself accept the things around me as they are and move on. And now I realize life is passing me by and I am not having fun, I don’t really feel very excited when a new beginning awaits me, I was not very sad when I was stuck with a long streak of failures and bad luck. I was just pissed with myself, hammered myself for every failure but never appreciated myself when I did something well. I am just frustrating myself and then putting myself in the vicious circle of more failures and more hammering. I complain that I don’t get things easy in life but maybe I make it like that by staying in the nega...

Some relief after all... its like the first drizzle after the scorching heat, but still not enough. Nothing comes easy and nothing comes full, its like a parts of an item being delivered separately but right now I am just glad at least the deliveries have finally began. But ideally after a long wait you expect it to arrive with a bang and life become super in a jiffy. But patience and some compromising seems to be the order of the day. And believe me I am ready for it too but of course heart wants something else, it looks for grandeur but what it gets is an EMI scheme. But I'll take it and also be thankful and wait for my full reward for another day.

Stuck in the sea of hopelessness and the worst part is I don't know how to swim. Need to be saved but I also know no one can save me and I really have no clue how to help myself, I am drowning and the sun is setting and the shadows are being longer. The day is nearing an end but the night is just beginning and it will only become darker, so I am not just in the sea of hopelessness but in a dark sea of hopelessness and so ill equipped to make it through the night. But I have no choice but to try to survive and I think this trying and failing is going to leave serious dents that of course if I survive. In all this whats the most unwieldy part is that giving up is not an option, give up and do what, its like there is no other option. And this feeling of being trapped and failure is making life so hard and impossible to cope. Everyday is a depressive start to more depression and desperation, I feel cold and lost and occupied with sadness and frustration. The biggest lose is the lose ...

We grieve, we rise, we cope or we fight. Everyday and every waking second there is a scuffle for survival or success and no one is at peace. Peace is just turning into a myth or an illusion, soon we will need a lot of expressive phrases to explain to the coming generations what peace and solace meant. Its a forgotten feeling and soon will be obsolete; but why are we always at unrest? Why are we just not happy with ourselves, our surrounding or our reality? I being the one questioning does not mean that I am all perfect and happy and at peace with all I am and all I have, I am equally a part of our struggling guild. But I am wondering and questioning because I still remember what it meant to be at ease with myself and my surrounding and now I don't know why am I in a battle each day with everything, I think all this is inching me closer to self demolition and a crash is coming, I can feel the tremors.

Just when you think that things can't get any worse... They always do

The most helpless situation is when your beloved ones are in pain and you can not do anything but just sit by there side while tears trickle down their faces. You just keep staring at them and wishing you could change things but you know the only way for their pain to reduce is with time perhaps a long time. And you start day dreaming that you can make time move faster, but you know you can't do anything but you can't see them crying too, you can't see them in misery. Still you just sit and stare equally in pain but may be your pain is different then theirs. It was a 150 minutes journey to her place and she was sitting next to me her eyes swollen from all night of crying but the tears still kept flowing. She wept in silence and all I did was wipe the tears ones I did not know what to do. She wasn't talking and my attempts to start a conversation had already failed, so we traveled quietly. But when we reached her place I just could not see her. Her faced showed expressi...

We use to be different, we use to be happier...but today most of us are struggling with reality, trying to make something from the day everyday but failing and wondering what are we doing...There is a struggle in life everyday, the kind of struggle that comes when you are where you did not want to be or shouldn't be, but most of us are there. We struggle to cope each day and by the end we are drained of all the life; so when we were not here we were happier. It was like being on a long holiday and it got to most of us that we did not want to come back. But we are all back, some still trying to find a direction some already on the roads they did not want to take and some on roads not knowing did they want to be here or not. I am one of those who is still looking for a way to go, but I am devoid of options right now so when the first road would open up I would be on it but would that be the one I should be or will I be lost again?

Another year went by and as we are stare at a new beginning new feelings sprout, new resolutions take shape in the mind (and only in the mind), new found hope surrounds us and things do seem better. And we look forward to the year with the hopes that something good is in stored for us and everything looks more promising. There is some hint of mystery, suspense and excitement but those feeling are overpowered by the optimism of every heart. But as we march ahead, we need to halt and look back at the year gone by, take a good look at what we did and what we have become. As we move ahead we do need to know are taking the best of us ahead or the worst. A few silent moments would be enough to tell you that, because our inner voice can be heard if we let it talk. And in this new year I hope to be somewhere I have never been before, feel gratified for what I have, feel happy for no reason and have job that I would love to go to each day. These are wishes for myself and when I write again...