Life in passing

Grumpiness factor: In attempt to quantify my grumpiness quotient or factor I sit to write, weird thing to do but after being asked to quantify every damn thing everyday I have just gotten use to doing that but that no way means I have gotten good at it. It simply term 1 of this MBA is getting to me but it definitely does not mean that I have perfected the art of quantifying. Out of this damn MBA I would still get a few takeaways: number 1 plot any damn thing on a graph and make it look like some complicated crap which really affects our life and requires urgent attention; number 2 quantify the shit on the graph down to a table full of numbers for no one to understand. All perfect MBA should be able to do both these things and another important thing they should be able to do is faff, faff like there is no tomorrow, faff about any god forsaken thing on this earth and make it sound intelligent, and should convince the other person or at least confuse him. So the ultimate reality is that ...

Human being are social animals, and living in herds and communities comes naturally to them. And people who believe they are loners and recluse just chose to differ and somewhere they have faith in themselves and the concept of individuality does not scare them. And then there are people caught somewhere in the middle who know they would just love to be left alone, would love to get out somewhere and let no one know where they are, but not always. Its just some days, to connect to who you are and what you are turning into. These breaks from being a social creature is required when you want to shut all doors to world and be with no one but yourself and get all the welter sorted out. And to people who just want to keep to themselves these holiday to the their-land are more important than for people who live in our-land. I am trying to send myself to my-land before the clutter becomes unmanageable.

Why I am here? What's education for me? Does education here, fits in my idea of education? A fellow batch mate of mine asked in class "Are we trying to set a world record of the number cases we solve in an year?". Another one asked "If we do not know the theoretical concepts how do you expects us to sustain out there?" I came here with an idea that even though we'll have to work our asses off, the learning's will be tremendous and all the sweat will be worth it. But in reality we only work hard but the learning somewhere is missing. So the smart lot who realized it soon that it ain't fetching them anything just do the minimal amount of work and survive through this course. And may be along the way have fun and also learn a few traits that might actually be helpful in life more than the ability to crunch number; and make some real friends. So by sitting on the sidelines and cribbing about the whole system I chose to educate myself in life the real way...

Frustrations mounting high, sky high...why? Its like I am just going through the motions. MBA is an experience of a life time and all I am doing is trying to survive each day as it comes. The big picture is completely missing... Life is just been confined and boxed to cribbing about people and being shocked at how much Bullshit can people dole out in a day. And each day I end up asking is that what I came here for, each person here put a stop on their lives and dedicated themselves to this MBA in hopes of a better future... but today we are so not sure if that was a good decision... Looking beyond all this is difficult right now and I need some inspiration to move ahead and with same enthusiasm and energy I came here with. But it ain't coming... "Journey is the reward..."

I feel like a first grader sitting in a filling a blanks test, or may be perhaps participating in a 'guess the word' game. Why I am supposed to play this game, its not a class to increase my vocabulary its a class to build some concepts which are anyways in short supply. And I am supposed to feel dumb if I am not able to guess the right word... In the end my learning is zilch... and I have to struggle to decipher what word is the prof thinking about. For me to be able to understand or even guess where the professor wants to take the discussion I should be telepathic or have the fundamental in my head, but here the mode of operation is lets see if you know the word because we know you don't the it anyways. I don't know any concepts so don't make me guess, teach me because I am willing to learn and not wiling to participate in a guessing game.

Nothing works better than a walk in the rain to settle all the upheavals drudging in your head. A very long walk with the right music and a new roads to explore... When you don't know what you'll see curiosity takes over and you escape your real world(which in most probabilities sucks and that's why you are looking to break loose from it even for a while). And you forget what was bothering you. With every step you take you get further away from all misery But its a circle you ought to come back to the same place in the same state of affairs, its only a break that you get you cant escape reality for long. And if you don't take on the 'demons of today' today, things might blow up on your face soon leaving you to stupor.