Life in passing

Every year when everyone gets in a festive mood in December, we get nervous about December disasters. Based on historic data life generally takes a wild turn in December and I always have a tough time and make it harder for others around me. This time is we thought the disasters started early but of course, we should never underestimate the potential of December. For today I am feeling sorry for myself but only for today. I know I can't be in a self-pity mode any longer but I am giving myself a little bit of leeway. Today I do not see anything to look forward to even if December gets over now.

It's been ages since I have been on my blog or written anything here, while the rollercoaster of feelings had not disappeared, it did calm down a little in the past few years to not create an urge to vomit my feelings all over some obscure webpage. But something changed recently, I have been diagnosed with Cancer. Cancer is a scary term and a scary reality. It still hasn't completely sunk in but it has definitely brought some feelings which I am not yet capable of processing. Maybe my life is about to change and it does not feel like its going to change for good. I had plans for my life...can they still turn to reality or will they all come crashing down?