Life in passing

It could not have gone worse than this, it was such a disaster that I am not able to put it in words. The agony of sitting through the economics class was too much to bear. And sitting in the first row when you haven't read the case and nothing is underlined or highlighted and the prof has a habit of peeping in your reading material just to check...oh you are screwed big time. I am actually preparing myself to accept that in all probabilities I might flunk Economics after the macro economics exam being so dreadful and atrocious as it was. And micro exam will victimize us further. And before economics was FM which is another bitter pill. Prescription: twice a week Side effects: Reduced mental capabilities through out the week Financial management, it sucks big time. And if I forecast the sucking power of FM from the past three cases it grows by 20%, so by the 5th case there will be vacuum. And as the butterfly effect/chaos theory goes in vacuum a flap of a butterfly in one part of t...

Its almost like each day in my life is competing to prove to be the worst than the previous. You live through a day that you thought was really bad and there comes another one. I am resetting my standard of a bad day each day... Its a bad day today and I have no hope for a better one tomorrow...

1. No sleep in the last 24 hours 2. Did not read the cases or the chapters for two out of three lectures 3. Finally CP in Bolante's lecture (that's pretty much the high point of the day in the pathetic excuse of a life I have right now... imagine) 4. Finally tried to sleep and exactly at that time all my roommates felt the urge to go on rattling on random topics, so no sleep again 5. Then I get my food, turns out it is burnt, so no food 6. And a warning (now that's too much wth) 7. And another one I am supposed to be working on the marketing strategy for a Sausages brand when I have no clue what the hell sausages are How many things can go wrong in a day? So without sleep, without food and I still have a lot to do, stuff that I cannot procrastinate on. My eyes are giving up already, the moment I close my eye they pain and I become teary eyed so I tell myself probably I need the cleansing, so let it rain, let it rain...

I have an exam tomorrow for nine hours I think its the first that I heard of an exam 9 hours long, sounds debilitating. And the worst part is that I've been trying to sleep for the last one hour but in vain. And my mind is wondering of in all directions and long forgotten memories coming back when all I want to do is to sleep. Now that's an ironic situation, before most exams I just don't have anytime to sleep but I am too sleepy then and now when I've given up sooner than usual I can't sleep. So i think am just gonna watch a boring movie to put myself to sleep, lets see if it works.

People can be the cause of your biggest worries in life and they can also be the biggest relief from all the disarrays in life. And here I get myself into situations of unrest but I am so glad there are few close friends(Few old friends and some new) who are always there to get me out of the shit. And there is also music to console the bruised soul, three of my favorite tracks which can get me back on the road to face more shit in life: 1.) Daniel Powter - Bad Day 2.) Rob Thomas(Oasis) Little Wonder 3.) Rob Thomas(Oasis) Wonderwall So with the two together - Friends and Music what more can you ask for!

The highs and lows in life are like an ongoing process you can never get ride of them. I know these ups and downs make life worth living otherwise it'll be so boring to exist. But my problem is when I am in a bad phase life seems like such a drag and I keep tormenting myself more and more and all I end up doing is lengthening the trough. Its like a vicious circle and I don't know how to break lose of it right now.

Its sucks having to give an exam just because of CP, I am pissed and agitated...

What would you do in a boring and a long class when the prof is just going on for like 2 hours and you have no freaking clue of what he is talking about and you aren't really interested too(I think that happens quite a lot with me these days, or since I am back to school probably I was always like this use wonder off to some other world. That's obvious because i am doing that right now too started talking about something and then jumped to something different). Anyways, that's me. So what to do in a long boring class, well I found a perfect way to stay awake and also look like I am concentrating hard on what the prof is saying and I am noting down the important stuff it did GRAFFITI :) And was fun too...

This is where I want to be right now. What kind of life is it, study, eat n sleep? No I don't want to study and I don't want to live my life like I am following a rhythm, no no no I just don't want to study, sleep eat and study. This country comprises of islands I wouldn't know that other than the map telling me it does. Thanks to a few friends I at least got to see the shore line. I really need to go away from here right now to keep my sanity intact. I wish I could just go to a quite place with mountains and only mountains all around.

I am so sleepy right now that I can sleep... Why do we have meetings at the wrong time all the time. Back in office when I wanted to leave work soon there would be a meeting late in the evening and would be an important one too. Its been like two months here and three months that I quit my job but it just doesn't feel like I ever worked. Hmmm three years in the same office and I am making a statement like this after three months away from work. That's actually pretty mean of me and I just hope no friend of mine from office reads this because I had really good time in office just because of my friends. But I do hope my manager reads this :D I detested him. But anyways, I am so sleepy right now.

When you get pleasure out of troubling people, then chances are you'll never be bored... HA HA HA

It's not the fear of flunking the eco exam that is keeping me going its the reward of just sitting through the exam that's keeping me going. Because after I am done with the huge task of tormenting my brain and coxing myself to believe I can actually think like an economist I will get to see ICE AGE III yeyyyyyy... How much can you understand about the economies of the world over a weekend? And can an amateur ever scale up to a full time economist... nay no chance. But foolish as I am, I still think something can be done even now... haha :), that's the pessimist in me telling the optimist to be realistic and not build fancy castles of imaginations. And the optimist has the counter argument that it high school economics. But unfortunately I am not in high school and in high school I never thought I'll ever have to regret not studying. So I have a plan tomorrow every sentence I am going frame will have one of these key words: aggregate demand or supply, Multiplier effect,...

Life with all its chaos, with things happening around you, you can't decipher, with so many events you can not seem to connect the dots and you just pray for things to get sorted out on their own. But all what happens is that life gets more twisted and everything seems cryptic. And there is no one to watch your back in a situation, no one to rely on. On your own in the middle of disarray and nothing to hinge on to... That's life in all its complications and in its ramifications. But you still find a path to sustain in this crazy world keeping your sanity intact(after writing this I realized I am rattling on like an insane person). Have I found my direction? I am struggling and fighting each day against my instincts and probably something called the inner voice I am not at peace with what I am doing, what I am becoming each day. That's chaos and I am probably not on the road that takes me home and with the kind of direction sense I posses I think I will be wandering for long...

Man I have never felt worse than this before. I think I am reasonably okay in catching on to new concepts but man today was a bad day. Innumerable number of financial ratios and my slow brain turned out to be a disastrous combination. But I would not be so hard on myself and give it the benefit of doubt by assuming that it was probably the lack of sleep taking a toll on my brain's speed and performance. Now that brings me to a point of decision that whether I should sleep for longer time to get back in form with my mind working well to survive yet another LOB quiz? The answer most definitely is YES. But its already 4:30 am and I have a 8:00 am class, hmmm... that's a problem. Taking a page out from Engineer college days(oh how wonderful were those days, I swear I never studied in one semester of engineering as much I study in a fortnight here) lets bunk the first lecture and anyways it marketing lecture about Malls in Philippines and I have not seen much of the malls in any cas...

They say MBA is all about meeting different kind of people and learning from their experiences, well then in that sense today was the first time I was doing an MBA cause I got some very interesting insights about career, direction, goals and life in general. And it felt like I have been educated at that moment. And on the lighter side MBA is about partying hard on a Friday night and that's what I am gonna do tonight. So here I go...

Even after an exam I get no sleep got to work even more, which is manageable but then my brain is exhausted after studying about earning per shares and stock holders equity. And now I am back to analyzing a bank's debit card sales pattern. How boring could life be... But the main problem I almost thought I did a PhD on the topics that came in today's quiz but still LT could come out with questions I had no freaking idea bah... I give up no point studying too much and loosing out on your sleep. So in revolt I am not reading anything for tomorrow's class and sleeping early today.

In the state of existence we go through umpteen number of emotions everyday, some decipherable and some not. And it all depends how much do you keep things simple and how much clarity is there in thoughts and thought process. If you have too many feelings and thoughts that you can't seem to decode and its all jumbled up and setting it all straight is like a impossible task then that's "Impasse". Being at a dead is when you got to reorient yourself because there is no other way out. But what happens when the direction you take after reorientation puts you on another dead end path?... Are you lost again?